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PUBLICATIONS & ARTICLES

Yes, parenting does matter and the matters of parenting can seem overwhelming. By reading through some of the articles in this section you will find answers to specific problems but more importantly, you might figure out an approach that can work in many circumstances. Keep in mind that growing to adulthood is a gradual process of their learning and our letting go and that some of the greatest learnings come from not doing it right the first time.
PURCHASE DR. GAFFNEY'S COACHING GUIDE AT BARRINGTONBOOKS.COM

 HERE TO HELP YOU PARENT YOUR CHILDREN

DID YOU KNOW?

THE END OF ADOLESCENCE IS DEFINED AS THE TIME WHEN SOMEONE IS FINANCIAL, PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT.

COACH/KID TRIANGLES

RELATED TOPICS
PARENTS' SUCCESS KIT Assessments, journal, communicate, relax and know what to do - all in one place!
RELAXATION MEDITATION COMPANION A minute a day or twenty minutes a day - relaxation is attainable!
THE NEWSLETTER Release the Leader within.
PARENTING TIPS Simple ideas to help you enjoy your most important relationships.
COACHING TIPS Evaluate yourself and set your course for change!
FAMILY SOLUTIONS If you are concerned about raising a family today, check out the ideas in this section.
TWO-MINUTE MOMENTS Two minutes of relaxation.
DR. GAFFNEY'S PICKS Books on Personal Care & Development as well as Parenting that Dr. Carol Gaffney recommends.
 

PARENTING MATTERS:
HERE TO HELP YOU PARENT YOUR CHILDREN

Copyright Dr. Carol Renaud Gaffney

The summer moved on with an alarming pace and the lazy hazy days of summer are gradually being replaced with shorter days, cooler nights and the hint of autumn in the air. As we zipped past Labor Day and the official end of summer activities, the early days of school have begun in earnest.

The beginning of school brings excitement, anticipation and sometimes dread, depending on what the experiences in the past have been. There are new friends, new teachers, new books, new schedules and new responsibilities.

While all this newness is exciting, change (even fun change) adds stress to youngsters, parents and families. If you or your family are already stretched to the limit with time or finances or relationships or health, the start of the school year could put you right over the edge.

In the months to come, this column is for you – to ask questions about parenting and your children, and to make comments about your experiences whenever you would like.

You might have a question, such as "is it reasonable for my 6-year-old to spend the night with a friend," or "my teenage son and I no longer talk—does that mean he's on drugs?"

Because schooling and learning are such a large part of life, you might want to know what to do when your child starts having difficulty with a teacher, or when you think your child's teacher is being unfair.
You might wonder when to step in when you think your child is not doing well in school. You might want suggestions on how to add structure when nothing has been in place in the past. Also, teachers may have questions about how to manage burnout, difficult children and worried parents.

I will support your intuition as the parent, understanding that no one knows your children like you do, and that you, in the end, have to take responsibility for your decisions. And let's face it, parents have gotten along over the years without a lot of experts telling them what to do.

However, we are in a more sophisticated and informationally complex society. Because of the rapid changes, we may not be as prepared to respond with confidence. Also, because there are more single parent families and because the extended family with grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers has changed so much, the typical sources of wisdom are not as easily available.

When you have a question, bring it here—I won't tell you what to do, but I can coach you to think through the problems you are facing, give you some information and support-you in the decisions you make. You will become a better parent as you have more experience in making decisions and understanding the outcomes, just as your children will be stronger as they have more opportunities to make decisions about problems that are theirs to own.

There are three principles' of parenting that I use as a basis for my answers to your questions:

1. You can take your children only as far as you have been. Yes, that's right, you are the model and if you want them to learn about responsibility or character from you, you must be a model of responsibility and character for them.

2. Growing to adulthood is a gradual process of their learning and our letting-go. There are problems to own and solve at every age. We can help our children develop skills through practicing on the problems that are theirs. Becoming an adult requires time and experience—there is more to being an adult than having a 21st birthday.

3. Behavior is the interaction of biology, temperament, social experience and spiritual desire. When these are valued and supported for ourselves and for our children, decision making is easier and personal satisfaction increases.

Just in case you wonder whether I am permissive or authoritarian, I tend to take a more balanced approach in parenting. Individuality is respected, age appropriate responsibility and accountability are expected.

Order Dr. Gaffney's Coaching Guide for Parents


TAKE AN ASSESSMENT

The more you know about your style, the easier it is to figure out what naturally stresses you and what to do to relax.

TAKE AN ASSESSMENT

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, RELAX
Stress and strain of daily living got you down? Breathe. Relax. Reclaim yourself and your energy – two minutes at a time.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, RELAX
MORE TWO-MINUTE MOMENTS


MEDITATION & THE RELAXATION RESPONSE
Have you been wondering about meditation? Well, it’s easier than you think. You just have to get started. One breath, one focus, two moments.

MEDITATION & RELAXATION RESPONSE
MORE TWO-MINUTE MOMENTS
 PEOPLE SOLUTIONS

 THE NEWSLETTER
Dr. Gaffney's Newsletters provide insight and direction for successful communication and action to help you create your life – at work, at home and within your community.



PERSONAL
Creating your life requires self-knowledge, planning and taking action otherwise you'll be making the trip but it may be the magical mystery tour. Start here for personal understanding, the basis of success.

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PROFESSIONAL
Do you hire right the first time? Are you and the people you work with at peak performance? Do you have the skills and attitudes for extraordinary success? Start here to learn about excellence in your professional life.

LEARN MORE

FAMILY
If you have children
and are concerned about their development and
well-being and having them become loving, independent,
productive and responsible, check out the materials
in this section.

LEARN MORE
 
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