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 FAMILY SOLUTIONS

This self-assessment tool is for you to use in identifying your style. No one exhibits a single style; we normally display combinations of styles, depending on the environment we are in at the time.

Please note that this self-assessment is not a validated instrument but will provide some information about what style is. If you would like an personalized profile you might prefer the computerized report available in the Take an Assessment section.

KIDS' SELF ASSESSMENT ADULTS, TAKE AN IN DEPTH ASSESSMENT
 PARENTING SELF ASSESSMENT TOOL


DID YOU KNOW?

THE MORE WE SHARE COMMON BELIEFS AND GOALS, THE MORE WILLING WE ARE TO ADAPT OUR BEHAVIORS.

- Dr. Carol Gaffney

THE WHEEL OF LIFE


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PARENTS AS COACH What would be different if we coached rather than parented?
PARENTING IN A CRISIS Triggered by 9/11, this article helps parents know what to do when tragedy strikes.
THE PARENTS' SELF-ASSESSMENT TOOL A quick assessment of your parenting stlye and behavior.
KIDS' SELF-ASSESSMENT TOOL A quick way for kids to gauge themselves.
10 SIMPLE TIPS FOR BECOMING A BETTER PARENT Some quick tips.
PARENTS' SUCCESS KIT Assessments, journal, communicate, relax and know what to do – all in one place!
DR. GAFFNEY'S BOOK The Coaching Guide for Parents provides a simple structure and useable ideas for getting along better at home.
COACH/KID TRIANGLES Two triangles tell the tale of who does what and when.
GRANDPARENTS' QUESTIONNAIRE Timeless Wisdom from the Forgotten Teachers: Tell us what you’ve learned!
 

PARENTING SELF ASSESSMENT TOOL

Using the survey below, think about how you behave when parenting. Mark one answer on each line that is most like you.

D Risk Taker   C Risk Avoider
I Outgoing   S Reserved
C Supportive   D Competitive
S Time Disciplined   I Undisciplined with Time
C Slow-paced   D Fast-paced
I Open Body and Hand Movement   S Controlled Body and Hand
Movement
D Makes Statements   C Asks Questions
S Cool   I Warm
D Take Charge   C Go Along
I More interested in Opinions than Facts   S More Interested in Facts than Opinions
C Limited Effort to Take Stand   D Strong Effort to Take Stand
S Serious   I Enthusiastic
D Take Social Initiative   C Allow Others to take
Initiative
I Emotional   S Cautious
Count up how many D answers you circled and then write that number in the space next to the D below. Then add up the I answers, the S answers and the C answers and put them in the space next to their letter.

D_______________ I______________ S_______________ C___________
Total of all the D, I, S, C answers ______________ (This should total 14)


Using the Behavioral Language


From Family Communication Guide, Carlson Learning Company, 1991

Parenting Style Graph

Write the scores from the front page on the bottom of the graph under each of the lines. Write the D score under the D line, the I score under the I line, the S score under the S line, the C score under the C line.

Now mark your score on its line by making an X. For example, if your score for D is 3, mark an x on the D line opposite the 3 that you see on the right sideof the graph. Please do this for each of the scores.


Parent/Child Style Characteristics



PARENT

The Dominant/Directing Parent ("D")
Natural Strengths – Decisive action, goal-oriented
Natural Limitation – impatient, blunt. Pushed to an extreme the dominant parent may become autocratic or dictatorial.

The Influencing/Interacting Parent ("I")
Natural Strengths – fun-loving and optimistic
Natural Limitations – disorganized, not detail oriented. Pushed to an extreme the inerating parent can become too permissive.

The Steady/Stable Parent ("S")
Natural Strengths – easy-going, patient, good istener
Natural Limitations – unwilling to take charge, too passive, Pushed to an extreme, the steady paent can become too accommodating.

The Cautious/Compliant Parent ("C")
Natural Strengths – set high standars, accurate
Natural Limitations – too critical meticulous, strict. Pushed to an extreme the cautious parent can become too perfectionistic.


Moving Ahead



Based on my style, these are my strengths:

This how I would like to use my strengths:

This is what I have to be careful of:


This is what I have learned about my children’s styles:


This is how I can adapt myself to coach them more successfully:


Order Dr. Gaffney's Coaching Guide for Parents


TAKE AN ASSESSMENT

The more you know about your style, the easier it is to figure out what naturally stresses you and what to do to relax.

TAKE AN ASSESSMENT

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, RELAX
Stress and strain of daily living got you down? Breathe. Relax. Reclaim yourself and your energy – two minutes at a time.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, RELAX
MORE TWO-MINUTE MOMENTS


MEDITATION & THE RELAXATION RESPONSE
Have you been wondering about meditation? Well, it’s easier than you think. You just have to get started. One breath, one focus, two moments.

MEDITATION & RELAXATION RESPONSE
MORE TWO-MINUTE MOMENTS
 PEOPLE SOLUTIONS

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and are concerned about their development and
well-being and having them become loving, independent,
productive and responsible, check out the materials
in this section.

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