COACH / KID TRIANGLES©

This helpful Coaching Tip is adapted from "Dr. Gaffney’s Coaching Guide for Better Parents and Stronger Kids", Bookpartners, 1997.

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COACH / KID TRIANGLES ©

by Dr. Carol Renaud Gaffney


The amount of responsibility the coach and the child have is represented by the width of the triangle at a particular age. At age "0" indicates the child has no responsibility for his/her well being. Adults – usually parents - bear sole responsibility for children at birth. Without the attention and care of an adult, an infant will perish.

By the time a child reaches 18, he/she needs to be completely able to make responsible choices. Responsibility for choices and problem-solving gradually shift from the parent/teacher/coach to the child as the child grows older. At each age parent/teacher/coach and child share in the responsibility for problem solving.

Each time a problem or situation occurs, draw a line across the triangles that represents your child’s age. You now can see how much of the solution the child owns, and how much you own. Support your child in "solutioning" his or her part of the situation.

N.B. If there is a discrepancy between the emotional age and the actual age, go with the emotional age.

Adapted from "Dr. Gaffney’s Coaching Guide for Better Parents and Stronger Kids", Bookpartners, 1997.